Let's Connect

I came across a post on LinkedIn recently that really bugged me. The author was ardent in his dislike of text messaging as a means of communication at work. He also felt that instant messaging, group emails and meetings with no agenda should be banned. For him, concise emails, mobile phone calls and face-to-face chats are the only ways to get work done.

The post bugged me because I’d just had a text conversation with one of my team. She was going through a tough time at home and had chosen to connect with me before work by text to fill me in on how she was feeling that day, because she wanted to avoid getting overwhelmed and emotional. When I saw her in person later in the morning, I was able to give her my support without needing her to verbalise something she wasn’t ready to talk about. For her, on that day, text messaging was the most effective way to communicate so she could get on with her work.

I know aimless meetings are another pet hate for many people, but they can serve a purpose. A few months ago, my team shared their preferred modes of appreciation at work (words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, tangible gifts and physical touch). We agreed that being together, taking time to talk and listen, is crucial for us as a team. For us, spending half an hour catching up on a Monday morning is more about connecting as people than sharing our goals for the week. We’re stronger as a team because we spend quality time together, even without a structured agenda.

Personally, I relish face-to-face conversations. I also realise they don’t suit everyone or every situation. Giving and receiving feedback is a great example of a highly personal experience. I’ve learned the hard way that some people freeze up when they hear something confronting. I can think of an instance when I sat down with a colleague and shared what I thought was highly constructive feedback. He didn’t say much at the time, but that evening sent me a long email in response. For that person, face-to-face was not the best way to process feedback, at least not immediately. He needed to reflect on what I had to say and was much better at expressing how he was feeling in writing.

As leaders, we don’t have the luxury of sticking to our preferred mode of communication. Our role is to understand what motivates our people, how they best communicate and to engage with them in a way that builds trust and belonging. Exceptional leaders promote diverse perspectives, and that includes embracing diverse ways of communicating and collaborating, even if it feels uncomfortable. If text messaging is what connects your team, then get your phone out.